Thanks I guess

"Im from the poor side of the railroad tracks"
"La la la"
"He was an engineer"
"My dad was an engineer too, I'm an engineer now, my son will be an engineer, what about you? what are you?"
"Im...I'm; I have a degree in business, I..."
"Im from Baptist Inc, you should come see the atmosphere, it's great. Im a pastor, I say Jesus, and you say thank you"
"Really? I go back every sunday for church; I drive two hours just to get there. I read the Katy Times!"
"Did you know she takes forks, spoons, and knives by the handful?"
"Do you have some sort of vendetta against this woman? Fight it out I say?"
"Round and round, carousel has got you under it's spell" "How does it feel?"
"I'ts lovely"
"Write me something"
"I'll do it later"

---------------------------

Dios.

I close my eyes too much

Anyway, I've started to read another book"The Years with Laura Diaz" by Carlos Fuentes, and I like it a lot, it combines the story of Laura Diaz with the story of Mexico mainly the political culture that is Mexico. It also gives some insight at least the one that people are too afraid to say about social classes in Mexico, at least when dealing with the ethnic makeup of the country's high class society. Funny how we seem to drape ourselves in false ideals like disregarding the colour of skin in favor of unity and we are all the same- Mestizos. Of course most of my family disagrees with this, all of them deny any sort of discrimination, a result of the message we've been hearing for centuries, la raza. etc. But about the book, I love the descriptions that Fuentes uses and I'd be ten times happier if I had found the book in it's native language of Spanish, Im sure the diction would be richer and of course more familiar, closer to my heart.

------------------------------------------------

I hate the sluts that Oprah brings to her show, "I don't feel pretty enough so I have sex with boys so they'll like me." wtf? I blame it on their mothers, and the possibility that maybe they're mentally ill. That and the therapist they have on the show, resembles a monkey.

Exquise

La douceur de tes lèvres et la beauté de ton sourire

Chanson d'automne

Les sanglots longs
Des violons
De l'automne
Blessent mon coeur
D'une langueur
Monotone.
Tout suffoquant
Et blême quand
Sonne l'heure,
Je me souviens
Des jours anciens
Et je pleure;
Et je m'en vais
Au vent mauvais
Qui m'emporte
Deçà, de1à
Pareil à la
Feuille morte.

-Verlaine



C'est vrais.

...

Well, there might be a trip coming up very soon, hopefully I can do it and cool stuff may happen. Delightful, serene, hectic, exciting stuff.

My farmer's tan is less noticable, partly due because I have gotten more tanned and it sort of evened out the contrast of melanin in my arms. Haha, a picture of me au naturel would be funny, especially in the lower extremeties.

I rediscovered the joy of ironing, especially when wearing only underwear.

Every day I get to look at this fish, I don't even know what his name is, actually I don't even know if it is a he or she, calling it he sounds right. He has been here for almost a year I think, his colour is red, he's a beta fish, and he has no owner. I hate him. He has been abandoned by his owner, and Im left to look at him every day, feeling guilty that there's no one to feed him, so even though I don't like him I give in to feeding that poor soul. One time I even cleaned his fish tank, a task I strongly dislike. And even though I may say I wish he was dead, every time I get near his tank I can't utter the words, so he benefits of my pity and consciense, and lives a day longer.

I noticed that sexual innuendos and double entendres are more common with age, I hear/say them everywhere, and I find it funny since we tend to be so prudish about sex. Even uttering it is like saying some forbidden word, or sometimes even dirty. It's funny how I used to be so conservative about it, haha. Now, I joke about it all the time, haha, see just now I did.

Sigh.

p.s. I hate the clock.

Ouch

My shins are full of bruises, and I have mosquito bites everywhere, now I can say "Im a real man!" hahaha.

I read something on sleep paralysis, and apparently the symptoms are universal- paralysis of course, the feeling that there's a person in the room, pressure on the chest, and in some extreme cases false memories mainly those concerning alien abduction. It's caused by the brain and body momentarily disinchronizing, the brain is coming out of REM sleep but it's still semi-conscious and the body acts like it's on REM thus making it imobile, so you get this horrible feeling that you can't move, you're aware of the room you're in, but think that there's someone in the room trying to harm you. Weird.

Anyhoo, very soon I shall be surrounded by water and hopefully enough chlorine to keep the bad stuff from harming my intestines.