<?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?><?xml-stylesheet href="http://www.blogger.com/styles/atom.css" type="text/css"?><feed xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom' xmlns:openSearch='http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/' xmlns:georss='http://www.georss.org/georss'><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140</id><updated>2009-12-07T14:29:44.179-09:30</updated><title type='text'>chacawuawua</title><subtitle type='html'></subtitle><link rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/'/><link rel='hub' href='http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/'/><link rel='next' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default?start-index=26&amp;max-results=25'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email></author><generator version='7.00' uri='http://www.blogger.com'>Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>110</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>25</openSearch:itemsPerPage><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-3534265394790597309</id><published>2009-12-07T14:26:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2009-12-07T14:29:44.193-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='father'/><title type='text'>Rainy</title><content type='html'>Today is rainy, gray, humid, slightly cold. Ugly.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;My father is drowning, and I am falling as well.&lt;br /&gt;There is a precipice that is near my feet, every time I think I have cleared away from it, I find myself closer. It is haunted, reeks of the past, there is nothing valuable in it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I wonder how can I escape?&lt;br /&gt;I thought I was far away, and I always fall in again. I think I just realized that I am forever tied and it's depressing.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I wish I could go&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-3534265394790597309?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/3534265394790597309'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/3534265394790597309'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2009/12/rainy.html' title='Rainy'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-474127760730685210</id><published>2009-07-19T18:33:00.004-09:30</published><updated>2009-07-19T18:42:02.163-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='metropolitan'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='bike'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><title type='text'>Blurry</title><content type='html'>Reading makes my eyes blurry. Coffee makes my metabolism fast. The cold makes me uncomfortable. Bureaucrats make me irritated.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Smart people make laugh and think. Strangers make me wonder. An office makes me feel important. An opportunity makes me hopeful.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rain!? Please come back. It's been really hot this summer I don't have the recollection of it being this hot last summer, and I was outside a lot! I managed to bike to work, it was quite pleasant on a long street but turned sort of sour near the end, as the streets turned curvy and I didn't feel very safe I started riding on the sidewalk. Big mistake. My tires took a beating from all the uneven path, by the time I got there I just had enough air to make it. Biking is really fun but when I go home and read about killed cyclists I get paranoid and scared. My family actually does not want me to do it, I have apprehensions as well but then I start to think about fear stopping me and I get on the bike anyway. Now, it would be perfect if I could have a shower at my other job, that would be ideal.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I'm tired and fighting it. Good night.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-474127760730685210?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/474127760730685210'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/474127760730685210'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2009/07/blurry.html' title='Blurry'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-3366568018125203031</id><published>2009-04-22T17:08:00.002-09:30</published><updated>2009-07-06T20:17:54.467-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='metropolitan'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='rail'/><title type='text'>Hopefully</title><content type='html'>I hope to visit my city of origin in august, there have been some talks about staying with "family" something I refuse and do not want. Hotels near anything of interest are actually not that bad and if the economy stays as it is then perfect because the dollar outweighs the peso.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Work is getting bigger, expanding and I'm not sure if that's a good thing. Days are busier for everyone not very sure that affects the big boss except in his pockets.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Im getting scared.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;My new internship is pretty nice so far, the only thing I abhor is dealing with bureaucracy. And now that I am half a bureaucrat I feel strange. People work these government jobs to half of their capacity, most of them do the least amount of work they can, take as many breaks as possible, and to top it off leave at least 20 minutes early. And yes, they are mostly black.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Grizzly Bear is becoming too popular for my liking, yes that is bad because as I try to save money to see them and a couple of other bands the populace will buy them and there wont be any tickets left by the time I get the funds!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;-----&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I enjoy being silent. Walking with headphones cancels unnecessary noise and from time to time I can listen to other people's musings.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-3366568018125203031?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/3366568018125203031'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/3366568018125203031'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2009/04/hopefully.html' title='Hopefully'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-4934961833359400411</id><published>2009-03-18T16:13:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2009-03-18T16:20:19.565-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><title type='text'>Lifshitz</title><content type='html'>I think at one time I was not concerned with having little to do outside of work, but I think all this isolation is becoming quite strange. I feel like a ghost sometimes.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I've been working more than usual, as it stands the recession is  not helping out my economic state. That and my obsession with a bike is causing some trouble.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I am growing more afraid with each day, but I find nothing I can do to change. Very strange to move around and go nowhere.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-4934961833359400411?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/4934961833359400411'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/4934961833359400411'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2009/03/lifshitz.html' title='Lifshitz'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-3428066496057989444</id><published>2009-02-04T13:51:00.002-09:30</published><updated>2009-02-04T14:05:42.548-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='bus'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='metropolitan'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='futbol'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='food'/><title type='text'>city</title><content type='html'>I sneaked in to breakfast at a certain hotel downtown, it was pretty nice. They had fruit, yogurt, and coffee. Not as hard as I thought it would be but still after the first ten minutes the apprehension was gone and I could watch the news.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It's been cold these past weeks colder than usual but it's ok as long as I'm not sweating as I walk I don't mind.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I saw a bum with no shoes, he was picking up McDonalds glasses from the trash I knew he wanted a drink but didn't want to directly offer so I just left mine on top of a seat and walked to the corner. I turned back to wait for the bus and there he was with no shoes siting next to the wall sipping blue powerade.  I don't know how it's possible to live in filth and hunger everyday but I hope I never go down that road.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;An exciting game approaches, Mexico vs USA. I am apprehensive because I know we are going to lose, 3-0 is my prediction. We have no team, a bunch of no name foreigners who pass as Mexicans, a coach that has his head stuck in his butt, a goalie that is not retired and clearly does not know how to play (Sanchez), and no creative element. Cuactehmoc please come back! Is it sad that a team depends on a single player? sure, but I think it's sadder that Mexicans keep worshiping the foreign instead of what they have at home. And it's in all ways of life, foreign coaches, players, music, food, on and on. I'll just say that if we don't make it to the World Cup then fuck them, I'll be American and Brasilian for South Africa.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh yes, and Metro has some new buses out there, hybrids that are massive. There's more space between seats, the windows seem larger but made out of plastic I think, and they're noisier. I just wish nice buses were available in areas where they use mass transit all the time, like in the poor areas I suppose. They're the ones financing metro like lines 42, 77, 52, 30, etc etc.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I leave you with this,&lt;br /&gt;eat ten spicy guacamole pringles&lt;br /&gt;buy a thermos nissan&lt;br /&gt;and cut HISD into four.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-3428066496057989444?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/3428066496057989444'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/3428066496057989444'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2009/02/city.html' title='city'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-2588019692847253130</id><published>2008-12-24T18:04:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2008-12-24T18:19:36.145-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='metropolitan'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='music'/><title type='text'>Olha</title><content type='html'>While listening to my current favorite song of the moment and waiting for the metro, I think I helped save a man's life. Now, it's &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"&gt;ok&lt;/span&gt; to boast when you're relatively anonymous, I didn't even tell anyone I know. He was a man walking back from a Jack in the box, when all of the sudden he collapsed turned over on his stomach tried to get up and didn't move. The people that saw it say that's how it happened, I was much too busy contemplating something else when I realized what people were gawking at. I've heard stories of people acting like they're sick only to rob the good &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"&gt;Samaritan&lt;/span&gt; that stops to help them, but when I realized that they were looking at an unconscious man on the floor and not doing anything to help him, I had to do something.&lt;br /&gt;I always figured that if I were to be in such situation I would know how to act on instinct, the truth is that it's not always how you imagine the scene to be. I remembered my old health teacher, secure the scene before you approach to help, check. Tell them you're there to help them, check.&lt;br /&gt;ABC, check. Suffice to say that it seemed to happen fast but at the same time in slow motion, and I was very disappointed people didn't react faster. Somebody ended calling the authorities to help and eventually the ambulance got there, but would he have died like a vagrant dog? Alone on the street with people looking at him? I dunno, I would like to think that the nurse I saw nearby would have come to his aid soon enough, that someone would have done something. Even just hold his hand.&lt;br /&gt;We were lucky I suppose that my bus was late, because ten minutes earlier I would've been on my way to work.&lt;br /&gt;-----------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"&gt;Anyhoo&lt;/span&gt;, from wondering about &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"&gt;youtube&lt;/span&gt; I found a &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"&gt;Brasilian&lt;/span&gt; soap opera, &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"&gt;Paraiso&lt;/span&gt; tropical, and the song &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"&gt;Olha&lt;/span&gt;. The guy on there isn't too shabby either. And I couldn't believe the girl was thirty six years old! Also some of the scenes are so corny but cute and enthralling at the same time. &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"&gt;Hahaha&lt;/span&gt;, especially since some of them involve one of them being on a bus and spotting each other when looking out the window, the bus driver wont stop the bus so he or she can get off, and thus hilarity ensues. They say something along the lines of "The love of my life is outside! I need to get off the bus, please!" &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"&gt;hehe&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I leave you with this,&lt;br /&gt;Merry Christmas!&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-2588019692847253130?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/2588019692847253130'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/2588019692847253130'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/12/olha.html' title='Olha'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-7958580460496870580</id><published>2008-12-18T16:19:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2008-12-18T16:59:05.049-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='bus'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='metropolitan'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='reves'/><title type='text'>Shakes head</title><content type='html'>A bus ride leads to a visit,&lt;br /&gt;Sigh, so after royally screwing any chance I had at succeeding, I felt depressed so I took the bus downtown. It's not very far barely ten minutes and it leaves you in McGowen station, pretty nice. Besides, the bus driver I catch is funny, one time he stopped and left to buy something, haha, nobody said anything of course, it was like Ok, he needs to buy something. He sometimes recognizes me when I'm not looking too scruffy, or maybe he chooses not to see me? hahaha.&lt;br /&gt;Anyhoo, so I get off infront of a church, it's pretty cold outside but not too unbearable. There's lots of students around due to a local institution being located there, I never realized it had so many buildings.  I get this urge to check my mail, I was waiting for an important mail, so I go into one of the buildings and there's no one around except for one office. They have a computer lab on the second floor whose door magically opened for me, and there I was the only person in this huge room, checking my mail. After, I went to the bathroom and this lady custodian is getting ready to clean the lab. I was lucky nonetheless.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;On which I sort of stole garbage,&lt;br /&gt;So after reading this book about eating garbage from place like starbucks, I decided to do it. I went to a local starbucks, mind you a starbucks in a really nice are of a certain houston street. There was four different sets of pastry trays on which they had stickers that said "discard on wednesday 12/_/08, the date being the following day of my visit. I asked the lady when they put those out, yesterday she said. Awesome. So I returned on weds night, and I kid not, a whole bag of perfectly nice pastries was in there. Of which I ate some, and saved the rest to give out to the bums when I went downtown. I was scared someone was going to call the police so I had to park half a block away. haha.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;On which I met a crazy bum,&lt;br /&gt;Bums are part of the bus, especially if you're at certain stations or going to specific places. I was at wheeler station, sitting and doing nothing. An indigent person sits next to me, black and old, he had two gold teeth, and at first I thought it was a pimp. I got scared and was about to leave but then people started coming and sat next to me. He looked at me and said Merry Christmas, I said thank you, Merry Christmas to you too! Well, somehow two sentences turned out to be a conversation of twenty minutes. He lived in Mexico at one point, had a wife but no children, was in the army, and turned to drinking, a cycle of binging and fighting with his wife turned him into a divorced man, then a jobless, and finally indigent. I tried to inspire him, telling him I heard of someone that had fifty year sobriety, people turn their lives around. He heard, but he's too far gone. I hope he went to a shelter when it got really cold.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;--------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I have been blushing a lot lately, it's weird because I can feel my face get hot, and then I start to perspire. people think it's funny too.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-7958580460496870580?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/7958580460496870580'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/7958580460496870580'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/12/shakes-head.html' title='Shakes head'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-2877535199678009575</id><published>2008-12-09T10:04:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2008-12-09T11:10:40.508-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='soeur'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='reves'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='father'/><title type='text'>scary</title><content type='html'>Today I woke up from one of the most horrible dreams I've had. No one died in my dream, which is usually what I equate to horrible, but I sort of went back to my childhood. The bad part of it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I was sitting on the couch with my father and sister, we had just had dinner and were about to watch a movie, the light was coming in through a filter, it looked yellow and serene. My sister had stepped on something that had gashed the skin on her heel, I told her to go wash it and that I would sew it after. That's when it happened, for some reason I had asked my father about her, why she had done what she did and why had no one stopped her. I was not angry but rather very depressed sort of like I feel right now. He told me that her husband had left her, I knew that already, she had gone crazy, maybe but no not really it was just the alcohol.  I still have a photo of her, maybe from when she was in her twenties. It's her just younger, I don't even know why I keep it. Anyway, in my dream she had supposedly run away from home at an early age, she had a girl when she was around 17, and nobody knew where she was. We sat on the couch as my father told me her story, the tv was still on, flickering. She had returned home afterwards and married in her thirties. He didn't love her, I really don't know why they got married. She went to look for him in the little city where he was from, and I remembered being in the back of a van driving through country side to get to a small town, where she would buy blankets, and leather vests lined with wool. On the way back home my sister and I would sleep on the covers, and I still remember the smell of the leather.&lt;br /&gt;My father had told me, that she had then started drinking which in real life was true. And at some point in his story he told me about how we came to be with her. It's then that I remembered runnig away from her crouching in the corner and she with her white belt standing over me. The volatile way she would behave with my sister, the one aunt that knew about the abuse but did nothing to stop it, outside of shielding us when she would stay with us. She was old anyway, without a home, with no children, sick, and alone.&lt;br /&gt;My father, then told me about the child that she had, a daughter that she sold to some woman, who wanted to sell her to some bastard, already deflowered. This child had also suffered some of the same we had, but her life was much worse in that no one had rescued her. She had gone off into oblivion and God knows where she would be. The options were clear, a maid, a prostitute, an indingent person, or someone else. I asked my father if he knew of her, he said yes, why hadn't he looked for her, to help her. He didn't know. In my dream I was crying because of the pain I felt for her, and then I thought that if maybe I could find her I could somehow make the situation better.&lt;br /&gt;Then I found myself married, I went back in time, to the house I used to live in. I went up the spiral stairs, I looked out of the massive windows at the street I used to stare at, two little girls looked out of a room, and I told them we were going to the movies. Grab your favorite toy I said, the youngest had a teddy bear and the other one a supernintendo, I took them in my arms and carried them downstairs, my husband was waiting and took them to the car. I went back upstairs, determined to inflict the same pain that the kids had faced, onto the woman that called herself their mother.  I was ready to even shoot her in the heart and watch her die, I thought about all the horrible things I was going to say, how I was going to leave her to die alone, in her own filth. Then these flashbacks of her talking to a priest, the letter that she had written to my parents, this sermon I heard a while back by this evangelical pastor on hell, and I said out loud I don't believe in redemption.  I don't believe in redemption, I don't, I don't.&lt;br /&gt;Before I could go in through her door, I remembered what the Catholic Church says about grace, we can be saved through grace if we acquire it before it's too late, that if we truly repent God has a place for us in heaven. It didn't stop the anger I felt but it made me question what I was about to do, so I left her.&lt;br /&gt;When I woke up, it was hard to reconciliate with that last thought in my dream. I cursed her to hell, and had all of these mixed emotions but had to really ask myself, if I was really willing to accept what Jesus had said about grace. About confession, the last rites, and forgiveness.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;When Jesus died on the cross, he had two thieves next to him, one accepted him and asked for forgiveness to which in turn Jesus said,&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"&lt;/b&gt; In truth I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise&lt;b&gt;"&lt;/b&gt; (Luke 24:43)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I don't know why I dreamed about this, and I don't know that I can ever truly forgive or get over it, but it reminded me of the importance of the birth of Jesus. and the importance of faith.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-2877535199678009575?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/2877535199678009575'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/2877535199678009575'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/12/scary.html' title='scary'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-1121957655407046176</id><published>2008-11-14T16:47:00.002-09:30</published><updated>2008-11-14T16:53:21.359-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><title type='text'>blip blop</title><content type='html'>It seems like I can't get enough sleep, by two o'clock my eyes are red and I feel them sting. :(&lt;br /&gt;Also, rain is finally going away, sheesh talk about a very fast way to ruin shoes.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also, people on the bus never want to sit with anybody and I share that feeling.&lt;br /&gt;Dang, I was going to talk about something interesting but I seem to have forgotten everything.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I leave you with this,&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sarah Palin did not know that Africa was a continent and not a country. hahaha. Apparently she&lt;br /&gt;couldn't understand that within Africa, which btw is a huge piece of landmass, there were several different countries. &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;That&lt;/span&gt;, is scary.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-1121957655407046176?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/1121957655407046176'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/1121957655407046176'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/11/blip-blop.html' title='blip blop'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-5594545997796198664</id><published>2008-10-27T17:18:00.004-09:30</published><updated>2008-10-27T17:47:10.922-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='films'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='metropolitan'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='poli'/><title type='text'>Eh bien</title><content type='html'>Due to the fear of being kidnapped,or robbed in plain daylight, there will be another influx of upper middle class Mexicans returning to the US. My uncle and aunt, par example, living in a "suburb" it's forty minutes from D.F. but nevertheless close enough to feel insecure. They have two young children, the little girl is a carbon copy of her mother, uncanny. I secretly make fun of my uncle because the little boy looks nothing like him, I mean there's not one trace of him. teehee. no disrespect to my aunt. hahaha.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The big Nov. 4 is drawing near, I'm still uncertain of my vote, I just hope the Congress gets a democratic majority at least that way republicans can't keep blocking useful things like CHIP and unemployment benefits. I have no confidence in Biden, he eats out of the hand of credit card companies. sleazy old bastard. As far as the other one goes, I find it deplorable he had not been out of the country in official business other than his big Euro tour. Not even to Latin America! His sister is campaigning for the Latino vote, I'm pretty sure he has it because most of them can not stand another republican term, even if Hillary Clinton was the right choice. Sigh :(&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Metro is increasing their fare again, I have no idea how really poor people, which are the ones that use metro, are going to afford it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hopefully I'll return to playing dress up next week. Im anxious.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also, my favorite holiday is thanksgiving, all the food and wine, and fambly, and kiwi, and slightly cooler weather, and the cleaning. can not wait.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There's a booksamillion that opened downtown, it is not a b&amp;amp;n of course, I do not think that would be wise due to all the indingents that would sleep on the chairs and just stand around reading. I mean, who wants to let people read!? especially those that have nothing else to do. sheesh. Yeah, I don't think I'll be visiting any time soon, there's no space. But in the same shopping center there will be a Yao Ming restaurant, which I will visit. I like cheap commercial chinese food, at lunch time anyway. Too bad it opens next year.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ok, I have been trying to find the song by storm x in the movie The King, to no avail. But yes, watch that movie, Gael Garcia Bernal and Pell James.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-5594545997796198664?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/5594545997796198664'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/5594545997796198664'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/10/eh-bien.html' title='Eh bien'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-8579079257154650914</id><published>2008-10-07T13:31:00.002-09:30</published><updated>2008-10-07T13:40:56.442-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='bus'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='metropolitan'/><title type='text'>sigh</title><content type='html'>Im getting tired of coming home at seven every day, im too tired to do anything else other than eat and sleep.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Fat people on the bus are disgusting like I said before they should pay double fare. Today there was a humongous fat black man, he was easily over four hundred pounds. The saddest thing is that since he was so fat he needed an electric wheelchair to get around, we were waiting for the same bus and it happened to be a charter bus. Which means there's a small "elevator" that opens from the side and gets people in, but this man being so fat he couldn't even fit within the perimeter of the  elevator and even if he had he would've been too fat to lift. I'm sure it would cave under his weight. Shameful.&lt;br /&gt;Then another fat man got on the bus this time he was only close to 250lbs or so, but since the bus was quite full there was no way he could fit in one seat to share an aisle, so he had to ride standing up where the handicapped section is. To top it all off a fat man, this one around 200lbs wanted to share the seat next to me, and when I told him no he got offended. I finally stood up and let him clumsily manouver his obese frame into the window seat. He was mumbling how it was so unfair he couldn't get a seat to himself when I looked at him in disgust and sat with somebody else. The man took over half of my seat. Fucking fatsos.&lt;br /&gt;I have no sympathy for people that let themselves get that fat, before unhealthy food became so available I never heard of someone being addicted to food, or seen so many obese people in one place.  Ewww.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-8579079257154650914?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/8579079257154650914'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/8579079257154650914'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/10/sigh.html' title='sigh'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-4600518758035937270</id><published>2008-09-30T15:43:00.002-09:30</published><updated>2008-09-30T15:54:27.181-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='bus'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><title type='text'>dot dot dot</title><content type='html'>A lot of bad things have been going on recently, money wise. It's too depressing to discuss so I give some more random things here,&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A child today was mesmerized by moi. Hahaha, believe you me he would not stop staring at me and smiling, his mom tried to physically turn his head to her and he looked at her growled and went back to me. hahaha. Weirdest thing that made me smile today.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I like working saturdas because there's free kolaches and ample work and time to get it done. Also the weather has been great.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I dunno why but I am sleep deprived you should see the raccoon eyes that scare people, even myself.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ive been taking care of Kiwi and even though she was raised to be a savage she is the sweetest neediest cutiest dog. A black daschund that likes to eat grass.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Went to see Dr. Dog the day before Ike, it was awesome.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Will someday try the Shakespear pub, if I can find someone that likes the blues.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Trying to find a bycicle on craigslist is hard.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Enough my rant on the bail out is on the other blog so I will not repeat it here.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I hate that I come here to whine but Im sorry, I don't like to whine in person so here is better.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;-Eat fruits and vegetables!&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-4600518758035937270?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/4600518758035937270'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/4600518758035937270'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/09/dot-dot-dot.html' title='dot dot dot'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-8013997704080508375</id><published>2008-08-20T14:02:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2008-08-20T14:17:33.313-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='metropolitan'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='books'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='futbol'/><title type='text'>Eeek</title><content type='html'>My sister watched that infamous movie of those four aged women play like they're in their twenties.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Why do central americans hate Mexico's futbol? I say because they're jealous and poor. poorer to be exact. haha.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Going to work has become a monotonous;  same thing every day.  It's not that I don't like my work it's just it' s been three months!  And people were exasperated from listening to 90.1 all the time and they have started to take the radio back, which means either the same crappy songs over and over or country. ugh.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I think I felt my skin age as I got another wrinkle on my forehead.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I don't know why but I read the Glass Castle, it made me angry at the parents, and it's sad that there are people that are lazy and unrealistic that see no problem with their children going hungry or being filthy and dressed in rags.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A happy note to end with, my hair doesn't look that bad when humid outside.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-8013997704080508375?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/8013997704080508375'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/8013997704080508375'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/08/eeek.html' title='Eeek'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-1913757656134765117</id><published>2008-08-13T12:42:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2008-08-13T13:01:36.024-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='reves'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='rail'/><title type='text'>Limbo</title><content type='html'>Oh man, hahaha, fuck finaid.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I wonder where homeless people go to get cleaned up, there's this bum that I see quite often, well actually every day.  He's black and has his hair in small fuzzy things? I don't know what they're called, but from time to time I see him carry his belongings in three huge suitcases, usually around St. Joseph's hospital.  He wears a large gray coat mostly in the fall and in the summer shorts, but last time I saw him showered and dressed in clean clothes. He was wearing jeans and a yellow stripped polo, I suppose he suffers from schizophrenia because he talks to himself and hits the "spirits" on his body. Today I saw him in very dirty clothes and he smelled fowl, but he had a cellular and was riding the rail.  He seemed lucid.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Then at this starbucks another homeless I see around today looked clean cut, he kept taking the free samples and sleeping in the sofas. From time to time he would walk outside and act like he was looking for someone, I dunno it was strange. Also at another starbucks there's this African bum who smells like B.O X 10, I swear it's awful, he does the same thing except he sits outside. I guess it's hard to fill up your day when you have nothing to do or nowhere to stay.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I finally went to the Co-Cathedral and it is beautiful. Mass went really fast.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ten days went by so fast.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh yeah! I dreamt that El Gordo Molina opened a restaurant and there was a promotion for a free dinner, he was nice and I got to ask him questions and such. The restaurant was in this huge black bus, then since I didn't finish my food I decided to take it home in a brown bag. It was just beans with yellow cheese and some chips, then Martha Stewart was the hostess and she said I was bad mannered, to which I tried to hide it. I walked into a patio garden with old white stones and then into a boat.  Yes I have weird dreams.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-1913757656134765117?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/1913757656134765117'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/1913757656134765117'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/08/limbo.html' title='Limbo'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-4492475204909496117</id><published>2008-08-03T15:55:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2008-08-03T16:16:39.211-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='culture'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='O'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='books'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='futbol'/><title type='text'>Wham</title><content type='html'>Yeah, the drama of being poor continues.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I seriously will give up if I don't obtain a better living style it's so sad to not rise above your parents' failures and resent them in term for not facilitating your career.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Anyway, as the temperature continues to rise so does my discontent with the current state of my stagnating situation. In terms of employment I have grown more ambitious being exposed to brilliant people at this place I frequent so I am considering searching for better options. Albeit I have no idea where I can find a place so flexible with my schedule, hopefully either something improves or I am given an opportunity somewhere else. I don't want to "jinx" myself so enough about such talk.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There is a lady that has become infatuated with my father, and while I would normally encourage this type of interaction she has become scary. I don't know how many lies she has told or how many times suspicion has risen in the many conversations they seem to have but as long as she provides some sort of entertainment for him I have no problem.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also, I tried the Arizona green tea lemonade and it tastes the same as starbucks version it is also cheaper at .99 rather than well over three dollars for the same amount. I guess it's not as becoming to sip a from a big 23 oz can than from one of their plastic cups. Oh well.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I don't understand the need of black people to talk "black" it's astounding to listen to the change in their language once they stop talking to other people and huddle with their black friends. Why? Is it some sort of taboo to speak correctly?&lt;br /&gt;I have an abhorrence  to such things, as well as the need to butcher any language spoken by the region the person comes from.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oprah hosted Jeffrey Eugenides in her show, I'm apprehensive to retain my appreciation of Middlesex, I feel it has been tainted by her morbid curiosity of intersex people, the show wasn't about the book it was about intersex persons. People should really read more, and I'm referring to scientific papers or even more science magazines. They wouldn't look as ignorant as they do on TV.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;One last thing, Olympics. Since Mexico failed to qualify in the soccer tournament, I shall root for Brazil and Ronnie. I hope he finds the inspiration he needs and returns to being magical. I like how Diego and Rafinha ran away from their club teams to play in the Olympics, haha, awesome!   &lt;br /&gt;Oh yeah, enjoy the rain for this week.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-4492475204909496117?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/4492475204909496117'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/4492475204909496117'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/08/wham.html' title='Wham'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-8176207130900819069</id><published>2008-07-31T14:42:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2008-07-31T14:55:19.677-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='good reads'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='futbol'/><title type='text'>Not much</title><content type='html'>Been working and walking, currently the recipient of generous rides home. Now if it wasn't for the talking it would be perfect.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;About work, oh how mundane it has become. I look forward to &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"&gt;Thursdays&lt;/span&gt; and the weekend.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Finding study materials for continental Portuguese is hard.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Nip/Tuck is awesome.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I can't wait for it to get cold.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Reading Culture, Medicine, and Psychiatry and some other random articles.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I hate the fucking bums downtown, they should hide in the shelters all day, have you tried to walk in "Main St. square" without being disturbed? I don't even want to know what it's like at nine or ten pm when everyone is gone, scary shit. They need to do something about the pigeons, I don't understand why people feed vermin.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also Chelsea and Milan this season.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I hate the &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"&gt;concacaf&lt;/span&gt;.  When are the refs going to be able to do their jobs!? It's ridiculous.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-8176207130900819069?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/8176207130900819069'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/8176207130900819069'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/07/not-much.html' title='Not much'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-8614660878551930137</id><published>2008-07-03T14:13:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2008-07-03T14:37:13.087-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='kiwi'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><title type='text'>Dang</title><content type='html'>The carpool has been a welcomed change, I still feel shy thou.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also I have been eating really unhealthy, I skip breakfast and lunch, and then eat dinner around eight or sometimes nine. People at work might think I'm trying to starve myself &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"&gt;hahahaha&lt;/span&gt;. Nay, I just don't feel like eating, and the damage has shown in my waistline. And I don't mean in a good way, I'm actually getting fatter because my metabolism has slowed down by eating late. blah, I'm too lazy to get up earlier and exercise to feel hungry enough to eat afterwards, maybe that should be my new goal. Get up early, exercise, eat breakfast, and feel awake when I get to work. Which reminds me I need more sleep, especially when going to the &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"&gt;MedCenter&lt;/span&gt;, I have to be there at eight. &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"&gt;hmmm&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I miss &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"&gt;Kiwita&lt;/span&gt;, somebody asked me why I loved her so much and I didn't have an answer I just do.&lt;br /&gt;I think it also has to do with my longing for a dog.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh yeah, there's crazy people downtown. I was waiting for the light to cross to the rail platform, and a trashy looking white guy walked next to me, I &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"&gt;must've&lt;/span&gt; looked at him like he was what he was, (I know I'm too &lt;span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"&gt;judgmental&lt;/span&gt;)  when I turn around and there's another guy he was wearing a white wife-beater, black dirty shorts, and he had a baby in a cheap looking carrier, it was the kind with only a seat made out of canvas, he was flanked by two girls, he stopped in front of me standing on the street not the sidewalk, shook his baby and said "Look at him, look at him, yeah!" It happened too fast for me to reply, I just looked at his white trash baby, he was asleep, they went inside the Macy's and later when I got on the train I realized the first guy was the one I saw steal the box of perfume, he got arrested later by two cops. So I really wasn't looking at him in a bad way, my subconscious knew  he was a thief. haha, maybe.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Anyway, finding findaid sucks. I pray it gets resolved.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-8614660878551930137?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/8614660878551930137'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/8614660878551930137'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/07/dang.html' title='Dang'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-2293819028620260532</id><published>2008-06-10T15:41:00.005-09:30</published><updated>2008-09-30T16:01:46.620-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><title type='text'>sigh ++</title><content type='html'>To the petition of substance:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There's a lady I know, she gets on my nerves at times due to her insecurity and what I gather are fibs about her son and finances. I know she seems like a good mother, at least from what I hear and all she does for her family, the baking, the going to concerts, making lunches, etc. I think the reason I disliked her at first was because she mothered me, that bothered me because of all the resentment and weird feelings I have for my mother, and it made me act in a way that I didn't like. I was a bit rude, and indifferent, but now, I have tapered and even if she gets to me sometimes I no longer fall prey to such behavior.  I still feel weird when people ask or make comments about one of my parents, because in reality she hasn't been and will no longer be that anymore.  Like when someone asked me what are you getting for mother's day, I hesitated so long and must've looked uncomfortable it was awkward, even after the nervous laughter. This is the first year that my father didn't bother me about May 10, and i suppose it's sad and strange I have no attachment to any of them. I think once I lied to myself that I had forgiven, but from time to time I struggle and my anger stems from the hurt caused to my sister.  What is that sentiment of kind of knowing and remembering something I felt briefly?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Mostly I like songs for certain parts of them.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The rain today cooled the day, if you had stood in the shade and felt the slight breeze.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I still need scrubs, the store closes at five.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-2293819028620260532?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/2293819028620260532'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/2293819028620260532'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/06/sigh.html' title='sigh ++'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-5434820087322216283</id><published>2008-06-08T14:37:00.002-09:30</published><updated>2008-06-08T14:49:11.655-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='C Ronaldo'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='futbol'/><title type='text'>Headache</title><content type='html'>So very tired because my sleep schedule is so disrupted, last night I fell asleep sometime around four, and even though I had nothing to wake up to, my body managed to wake around nine. Truly upsetting since I haven't been able to fall asleep since, and I'm getting a headache. Blah.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Mexico had a shameful loss to Argentina, 4-1. It was awful that I decided to stop watching, this hasn't happened very frequently, it was just bad. We have a new coach that's supposed to make a team out of these losers, the thing is he knows nothing about Mexican football, you should've seen his face, like oh non what did I get myself into. The funniest thing was that he kept writing notes after every Argentinian goal, haha.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Portugal won their first game, I didn't see much beautiful game, Ronaldo I think was well marked, he almost scored with a free kick. I just want Poland to make the next round, losing 2-0 to Germania is not that bad, and why do I like Poland? Because they have an awesome coach, Benhakker and Pope John Paul II was Polish, teehee.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I need to buy scrubs but the only place I know is in a mall far away, Im not sure if the store remains open.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-5434820087322216283?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/5434820087322216283'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/5434820087322216283'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/06/headache.html' title='Headache'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-3092815343252888376</id><published>2008-06-05T15:00:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2008-06-05T15:26:00.218-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><title type='text'>none + extended</title><content type='html'>Oh mon Dieu, the sun burns us!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Drink Sweet Leaf tea.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I can't wait for Saturday, it shall be fun, even with the rain and the muggy weather.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;----------------------------&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;My uncle Fernando Rafael Castañeda Sabido, fue designado director de la Facultad de  Ciencias Políticas y Sociales de la Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México  (UNAM). Congratulations!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;For those of you who do not speak Spanish, he's the new president of political and social sciences faculty for the biggest university in Mexico, that is truly remarkable.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;----------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This past third of June marked another year MaNydia is gone, I can't tell you how much I miss her.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-3092815343252888376?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/3092815343252888376'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/3092815343252888376'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/06/none-extended.html' title='none + extended'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-5602251837870957310</id><published>2008-05-25T15:05:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2008-05-25T15:10:59.896-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='stalker'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='C Ronaldo'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='books'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='futbol'/><title type='text'>very relaxed</title><content type='html'>This past week has been very relaxing, I am dreading going back to work, blah, and the prying questions soon to follow.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I hope my finaid gets fixed, otherwise Im screwed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also, I discovered the genius of Loren Eisley.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;ManU won the premier, and the Champions!! whoa. All I can say is good for your C. Ronaldo, hopefully he's not too tired to perform in the Eurocup; and I can't believe he missed another penalty, again when the team most needs it. That sucks for John Terry, an emblem of his team to disappoint like that, and by slipping on wet grass.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The USA is playing against England sometime this week, go US!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Im excited about June 2nd, but also nervous hopefully I learn a lot.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also does anyone know a good place for drinks? nothing too fancy thou&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-5602251837870957310?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/5602251837870957310'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/5602251837870957310'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/05/very-relaxed.html' title='very relaxed'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-9164062141472426968</id><published>2008-04-24T15:21:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2008-04-24T15:32:22.074-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='C Ronaldo'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='futbol'/><title type='text'>none+++++</title><content type='html'>While waiting I saw a couple of prostitutes, it's astounding to hear that twenty dollars will do the trick. I can't imagine how that's  a fair price, but needless to say these women are people too. We were all eating at this nondescript fast food joint I can't remember how we got to talking, but it was cool. They gave me good advice, stay in school child. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Stressful weeks are to come, Im trying to get my shit together with little time and no money.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh my gosh, I hate the sun, it burns my skin. Im considering carrying around  an umbrella but Im not sure if I can handle the stares.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh yeah, don't drink caffeine if you're going to be exposed to the sun, apparently UV rays work best with it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also, I can't believe Cristiano Ronaldo missed that penalty. I knew he was nervous, you could tell he looked extremely nervous while he was warming up, exhaling and trying to calm himself. ManU got off to a good start but after he missed that penalty which would have won the game, the team disappeared and morphed into an eleven-man defense. Im surprised Barcelona didn't score with so many opportunities.  The Mexican in me was telling me I should be rooting for Barca but really, Marquez is a dirty bitch, Im glad he's suspended for the next match. I just hope ManU can come back big, I mean at least make more than one play. It's up to C. Ronaldo I think, I really don't know if he can get inspired.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-9164062141472426968?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/9164062141472426968'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/9164062141472426968'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/04/none_24.html' title='none+++++'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-5853495513676277849</id><published>2008-04-09T06:49:00.002-09:30</published><updated>2008-04-09T06:59:19.092-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='kiwi'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='futbol'/><title type='text'>None +++++</title><content type='html'>Well, it has been hot and humid for the past few days, and of course that means that my hair looks like well, like I don't brush it. haha. I hate the humidity, it always makes my hair all crazy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also, I finally go to see the lion, lioness, and the tiger at the zoo, not very exciting since they were sleeping and the lion I thought seemed small. Not very fat I must say. Also the tiger, as all animals hid behind some bushes most of the time; the most exciting part was looking at this orangutan in the eyes, which left me thinking that I would kill myself if I were him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also, I played with my binoculars, and saw lots of cool birds.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Finally, I'm glad Arsenal lost to liverpool, I hate Arsenal it's like the "cool" team to like, I don't like Liverpool either but better Masccerano than that mean goalie of arsenal's. Manchester tied in the premier with some nondescript team, how very weird they looked nothing like their previous game. Hopefully they win the title, and Im happy for Chelsea they won their champions match too!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;-&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I love Kiwi.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-5853495513676277849?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/5853495513676277849'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/5853495513676277849'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/04/none.html' title='None +++++'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-5680099551217986543</id><published>2008-04-04T12:09:00.003-09:30</published><updated>2008-05-03T20:50:28.509-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='stalker'/><title type='text'>Shaesh</title><content type='html'>Lordy, it is so very hard to get aid for school, my application has been chosen for the infamous "review," apparently one has a 50:50 chance of being chosen, and if you are it is hell. Now I must gather everything I have in order to get it reviewed. Dagnabit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also - I have been very rude in the past by avoiding eye contact with my stalker, in hopes that it will somehow deter the obsession, however, hahaha, it hasn't and it only lefts me feeling like a bitch. I mean, what kind of person tries to ignore another by not looking at them, answering yes/no to questions meant to prove into personal life, and runs away whenever the chance arises. Me. But what am I supposed to do? Let this person try to be my mother/mother in law? Im not a kid, I don't need a mother, and Im not the greatest out there either, she should choose someone more worthy of admiration. like, this other dude, he has a phd and works very hard, he's also super smart and has that old-guy cuteness.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Blah.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-5680099551217986543?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/5680099551217986543'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/5680099551217986543'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/04/shaesh.html' title='Shaesh'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19534140.post-2095476367709101574</id><published>2008-04-02T16:02:00.005-09:30</published><updated>2008-04-02T16:10:16.073-09:30</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='random'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='life'/><title type='text'>Je suis tres fatiguee? fatigue? ++</title><content type='html'>Blah, why am I so tired?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Things I strongly, borderline hate:&lt;br /&gt;- a fifty year old woman that stares at me at my job&lt;br /&gt;- people that throw trash on the street, especially when there's a trashcan a foot away, I'm not kidding people it's a foot away.&lt;br /&gt;- workers that stare at you when you walk by. Porque?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Things I like:&lt;br /&gt;- Old people that like to teach you something&lt;br /&gt;- kids that smile at you for no reason&lt;br /&gt;- reading soccer magazines&lt;br /&gt;- Kiwi!&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/19534140-2095476367709101574?l=chacawuawua.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/2095476367709101574'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/19534140/posts/default/2095476367709101574'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://chacawuawua.blogspot.com/2008/04/je-suis-tres-fatiguee-fatigue.html' title='Je suis tres fatiguee? fatigue? ++'/><author><name>Els</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/04451552631668370020</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:extendedProperty xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' name='OpenSocialUserId' value='14119466938410715980'/></author></entry></feed>